Theatre Vault continues our new occasional series where we invite reviewers to air out their theatrical pet peeves. Of course, our knees are quaking a bit, as we expect to receive a little hate mail… But that’s the way we roll, living on the edge!
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by Tahrea Maynard
Over the years, I have found a true love for the theatre and all things theatrical. It takes up a great portion of my life. Therefore, it should not come as any surprise that I have come to realize the various nuances of theatre, good and bad, backstage, on stage, or in the audience. I have also acquired a few theatre-related pet peeves. Stick around a few community theatres for a few years and you’ll find something that really gets your eye twitching. It happens to us all. To really share my theatre peeves, I’d like to address a couple of groups that are quite important to the theatre scene: Audience Members, Directors, and Actors. Let us begin.
Audience Members
Hey there. First off, thank you for supporting the Arts and supporting the theatre scene in Ohio. We theatre folk appreciate it. Nice shirt, by the way. Um, when you come to see a show, expect to see a show. Expect to see actors saying their lines. Some might be verbatim. Some may completely flops. We’re all human. Don’t expect the show to start a little late due to the traffic or all the other audience members who decided to dawdle. Expect the show to start on time, not waiting for you because you couldn’t figure out what to wear to the theatre… since everyone at the theatre didn’t come to see the actual play; they came to judge your clothing. Expect to sit close to strangers. Expect to sit REALLY close to someone you don’t know. And that person may reek of stale White Diamonds… or a barn. It is a tragic inevitability.
Directors
Oh, darling directors. You are the ones who truly hold the vision for your shows. You are the ones who lead the actors through the fantastic journey known as The Rehearsal Process. You allow the actors to create their own characters, and yet guide the actors toward your goals for their characters. You help your actors embrace the artistic value of your theatre and of your particular production. You are the nucleus of the production crew. Or… maybe not. Maybe you phone it in. Maybe you’re the person who just doesn’t get it. You don’t really help the actors along; you just assume they know what they’re doing. You’re the guy who wants to put on a British comedy and casts sub par actors. You know, the ones who can’t do a British accent, or any accent for that matter. And yet, you ask them to do so. As a result, your production is poo-pooed because the audience can’t stomach the on-again, off-again accents. Or the accent that makes certain actors sound as if they stuffed caramel covered cotton in their mouths before entering stage right.
On top of this epic failure, you may also be the kind of director who decides to throw all you’ve learned about blocking out the window. Maybe you never properly learned it. Whatever the case, come opening night, your actors are finding a certain pain in their necks from craning over one shoulder all night because you don’t grasp the concept of upstaging. Maybe you are THAT director.
Maybe your actors are able to do Shakespeare justice with their ability to sound like Sir Anthony Hopkins. And maybe your actors aren’t sporting neck brace the second weekend of your run. Maybe you’re the kind of director who decided to cast a boisterous, lusty 30-year-old woman as a boisterous, lusty 30-year-old woman. It’s perfect! You don’t have to stretch your imagination and there is no need to worry about helping your actors mold themselves into their characters. Go typecasting!
Actors
Fellow Thespians, lend me your ears! Perhaps you are a seasoned veteran of the stage or have just found your dramatic muse for the first time. You embrace your talents and you soak in the well-deserved compliments and adulation from your adoring audience. You were superb! So, you can’t understand why the other cast members are ready to wring your neck. What’s that? You didn’t stick to the script? You dropped lines? You missed your cue? Nay, you caused another actor to miss his cue! But how can that be? Maybe it is the fact that you are not the best. Maybe it is because you didn’t take your script seriously. But, what purpose does the script serve? The director thought you did a marvelous job. According to her, you were the best caucasian Othello ever. And she should know, being your wife.
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Tahrea Maynard has spent the majority of her life onstage, appearing on stages with such Central Ohio theatres as Roundtown Players and Rosebriar Shakespeare Co. She also teaches Musical Theatre classes with the Charmion Performing Arts Center in Circleville. Check out her blog
![Mercutio (Rudy Frias), Curtiss B. Stewart (Romeo), Angie Palmer (Tybalt) [photo by Danielle Filas]](http://theatrevault.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/img_5173-300x200.jpg "img_5173")